It's a fight between my heart and mind; no one really wins this time.

I forgot I even made this thing. I should be studying for my psych midterm at the moment, but let's be honest, that's not going to happen.

It's funny how much people can change right before your eyes. How you think you really know someone, how you think you understand them, how you think that you don't have to second guess yourself. Fuck that. People are deceiving. People change. and before you know it, it's like the person you thought you knew never even existed. I'm so sick of getting my hopes up, just to get let down again. I respect myself. Don't take me for a fool. It's bullshit, I don't deserve it, and I'm done.

If love is a labor, I'll slave till the end.

I'm back.
Being in my dorm again, it really feels like I never left at all.
It's good to be back though.


I'm the kind of person that either has really good luck, or really bad luck.
Never really just in the middle; it's one of the extremes.
A friend of mine fixed my new iPod last week, which got dropped in the snow the week before.
I left for Iowa City yesterday around 5, and when I got to the Dekalb Oasis, I decided to stop and get an iced tea. I parked right in front of the entrance, got out of my car, and I thought I pressed the lock button. 2 minutes later I pay for my iced tea, get in my car, and reach for my iPod to turn it on.
Except when I pulled on the cord to see where the iPod was, there was nothing attached.
It wasn't there.
I looked under all the seats, in all the little places it could have fallen, outside the car, everywhere.
So I've come to the conclusion that it got stolen when I went inside the gas station.
REALLY?
REALLY?!?!
Only me, seriously.
So now I'm iPodless, once again.
If someone honestly did steal it, I've lost all faith in humanity.
I called my dad and told him, and all he said was "Bad things happen to good people."
Thanks dad, I'm still iPodless though.



Rachel's Christmas present to me was really cute. I love my roomie.


I find it funny that this is the first time I've been single for more than a month (it's been a month and a half) in years, and most of my close girl friends are now getting boyfriends. Kaelyn, I think we should start dating so we can be cool too.


Alli's coming to visit this weekend! Beer pong tournament at The Watchtower on Friday. Me and Tyler are partners. It'll be a good time. Rebecca and Andrew called me last night 10:45, completely shitfaced, telling me to go to Jake's. I was seriously considering it, but decided against it. I think tonight we're all going to Summit. Oh, how I miss The Scum. Punchcard night tomorrow at Jake's. Brother's on Thursday. Gotta love syllabus week.


OBAMA ♥

You are the reoccurring kind.

Tonight is officially the last night of break. It's definitely been a good one. I still need to pack; my room is a disaster. I'll miss you, Chicago. Even though I'll be back next weekend for Ziggy's birthday, which I'm very much looking forward to.

My cousin Kevin and aunt Kate have been in town since Thursday from Colorado. I only get to see them once a year, so I was really glad they visited when I was home. We all went to my aunt's house last night for a big Ribordy fiesta. It was weird with my mom not being there. I found out my dad's now on eharmony. Really? He made my brother and Kevin take these clearly staged, cheesy ass pictures of him "playing pool" (aka him holding a pool stick by a pool table, neither of which are his) to post on it. and then took a picture with my brother and I, and I told him there's no way he's putting a picture of me on eharmony. He just laughed and walked away. so I'm pretty sure I'm now on there. Wonderful. I guess having two new girlfriends isn't enough for him. Whatever. I went to Amanda's after, and we went to Ashbary with Brian. Luckily Kari, Andy, Polina, and Kyle were there as well so I got to see them before I leave. Me, Amanda, Brian, Kari, and Andy smoked (I rarely smoke), and then Kari and Andy switched out for Polina and her new man, and we drove to the oil refineries. I've passed them driving before, but we drove through them, and blasted "(x) Amount of Truth" by Envy on the Coast, and it was absolutely beautiful.

Marc's 21st was on Friday. We went to Eric's with Ryan, Dan, and Ashley for some drinking games, then back to Marc's for beer pong. Ashley and I were partners, and even though we are a kickass team, we were a little rusty. Haha. Next time. Happy birthday, Marcy Marc.










How precious.


Eric trying to look manly after the picture above was taken. Didn't really work.




I really need to get on a sleeping schedule.
Preferably before Tuesday for classes.
I had a lot of trouble waking up this morning at 11 to go to my brother's basketball game.
This is going to be a problem.

Shane called me a little bit ago from the Anberlin concert when they were playing "The Feel Good Drag." Jealous. So. Jealous.

2 months until Puerto Vallarta.
I can't wait.

Is it bad I haven't bought my books yet?

You have my attention.

These kill me.

So this is the new year.

My day has consisted of:
-Waking up with a headache that still hasn't gone away.
-My car getting stuck in the snow and causing a huge traffic jam.
-Finding out my best friend isn't going back to Iowa this semester. or ever again.
-After hearing that news, I got out my of car, and dropped my iPod Touch that I got for Christmas in the snow. It is now broken. I have no insurance.
-Getting into Amanda's front seat, and having a huge thing of snow/ice fall in my hair.
-Slipping and literally falling into Amanda's car. Good thing the door was open.
Really?
It was just one of those days.

At least Ashbary was a good time.
and that Ezra's crunk ass was entertaining for my car ride home.

Thank god for Amanda, Kari, and Polina.
Seriously.

Camilla went home today.
Eliza goes home tomorrow.
Kaelyn's flight got canceled.
Hopefully I'll see her tomorrow before she leaves.







I really don't know what I'm going to do without Alli when I get back to Iowa City.

All your secret wishes could right now be coming true.

I've been going to this coffee house called Ashbary a lot this break. Amanda and Kari introduced me to it. Amanda had been trying to get me to go with her to improv there for months, but she never really explained what it was, so I always assumed it was an improv class with a teacher and everything. I was wrong. It's hilarious. I took Kaelyn and William there last night, and they loved it. and I took Smerch there on Wednesday for open mic, and he played, and loved it as well. I've met a bunch of really sweet people there, and it's gonna be weird not going there multiple times a week after I go back to school.

Everyone's going back to school.
I miss Iowa city, but I know I'm going to miss Chicago.

Last nigh was my first night staying in I'm pretty sure all break.
It was relaxing.

I just got my hair cut.
I'm a fan.
I'm not a fan of the snow though.

Anything to make you smile.

I've decided that in 2009, I want to keep track of what goes on, hence starting this journal.

New Years was one of the best ones so far. Me, Amanda, and Kari went to Chuck's apartment in the city, and I had an amazing time. When we got there, we were outside in the freezing cold for a good 20 minutes walking back and forth twice between his place and their other friend's since Brett, Al, and John kept changing their minds. =) It ended up being a great night though. Me and Joe were a kickass beer pong team, so were me and Kari, except she made me drink for her as well. I don't remember a large part of the night, even before it hit midnight, but many, many hilarious stories were told the next morning. My personal favorite is that me and Joe went on a journey at 1 am (mind you, I was in a dress) to go get food, and after what seemed like a 50 million mile walk in the negative degree weather in the ghetto, we finally arrived. I got a hamburger, Joe got a hotdog, and being drunk and hadn't eaten anything since that morning, I was very much looking forward to consuming it. I'm not too sure how we got back, I'm assuming we walked, but when we got back to Chuck's, my hamburger was nowhere to be found. I'm guessing the bag had a hole in it. or I dropped it. or gave it to someone. I don't know. All I know is that I didn't get to enjoy my hamburger. Apparently on the car ride back to Amanda's with Kari, we were listening to music, and all of the sudden I said "Me and Joe went to get hotdogs, and when we got back, mine was gone", then passed out. Oh, and me and Kari held hands while we slept. Overall, it was a successful night, and I'm glad I got to spend the last night of 2008/first morning of 2009 with everyone there.






On Monday I drove to Minnesota to visit Alli. 12 hours in a car by myself was worth it. I missed my best friend. Me, Alli, Emily, and Katelyn were together for the majority of the time. On Monday we went to their friend Mel's house to watch some of the Fiesta Bowl, and then me and Alli went back to her house and watched The Dark Knight with Chris and Nick. The next day the 4 girls went shopping and out for lunch, and then later on we went out for dinner at this really cute place called Panino's for dinner with Chris, Ross, and Nick, then went back to Chris's house. I left around 9 the next morning to beat the snow. It was a nice break from home, and I'm so glad I got to see everyone. Minus Erica. =(